Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Remembering Braj Kachru, my Indian American grandfather.


His occasional visits to India were about conversations & questions, about attempting to know us more. As we sat across each other once, I spoke in detail about my college days and he enquired about my ambitions. 

"What is journalism for you ?", he asked.
"A bridge between two voices", I remarked, softly.
He smiled and moved away.

Went to my mother and secretly told her, "she gave a sensible answer. She will be fine."

His verdict remains a blessing. His questions still ring in my head. 

Braj Kachru (in spectacles) at my parent's wedding. New Delhi, India. 1976
**
The second son of Damodar Das Kachru (Laal Saab) and Tarawati Kachru from Srinagar, Kashmir, Braj B Kachru was to make his parents very proud.

The eldest brother Dayakrishan Kachru (Gashkak), Arundati Kachru kaul (Bengashi),  Satyawati Kachru Dhar (Bentathi) welcomed the youngest of four siblings in 1932, Braj Bihari Kachru.

Braj Kachru was the brother of my maternal grandmother (Bentathi). So, technically, a far-fetched relation. But the joke amongst us siblings is that we are a close-knit family of 200 members. 

We are family, we are adversaries, we are friends. But never 'cousins'. Or so we feel.


Braj Kachru (centre) at a Kashmiri wedding in Delhi, India. 1976 (His sister & my Grandmother to his left)
***
Boitoth (Dear brother) as he was lovingly called, was our phirangi relative. One of the first who shifted to USA to study further, at a time when nobody usually even imagined. Almost everyone was still residing in Kashmir or Delhi. He went on to make a reputed career in the world of linguistics, in Asian English and Spoken Kashmiri, beating all odds and challenges. 

He found his blessed companion in Prof Yamuna Kachru, and explored avenues professionally but also maintained ties with people back home. Sending occasional photographs of children and letters of well-being.

I was fascinated by both of them. They intrigued me. For being great individuals, yet so down-to-earth.

The curious mind in me often asked Yamuna Nani how she met Boi toth, how did they fall in love, did he propose, did their parents oppose? She remarked, " You have too naive notions of love. We met while studying, enjoyed each other's company and got married."
 I choose to believe there was more and she won't tell that to a grand daughter. So, I let it be.

In an era of arranged alliances , Yamuna and Braj fought all differences and made for an exceptional couple. Much in love, much renowned for their collective contribution at universities world over. Until she left for heaven. And he started to turn frail.

***
Many moons ago, I remember a knock on the door of my house. There stood a young woman who introduced herself as my older sister. As Amita Kachru & I began to (awkwardly) interact , watching over us was her father Braj. A minute or two later, he intervened, asking (forcing) us to give each other a hug , exclaiming , "that's how it is supposed to be." We laughed and moved on to have many more interactions as Boitoth always expected of us to stay in touch. We still do. And distance isn't a barrier.

As uncle of the Bride, escorting her out as she leaves for her new home. New Delhi, India.

Yamuna and Braj Kachru at my home in New Delhi, India for Shivratri festival, 2011

***
The last time I spoke to him was when I invited him for my wedding this February. Six months ago. His voice was frail, I am not sure if he remembered me much but he asked if I am enjoying my work. He added to my mother that he would love to come but age and health have chosen not to permit him. He wished us well.

I would like to believe he lived his full life in 84 years. His purpose was solved. He epitomised everything for me- An exceptional career, a loving marriage, a Good human being. 
Yet, I feel so much of what I could not learn for lack of time.

As he leaves the mortal world to join his beloved , I imagine them to be sitting together engrossed in a pile of books. Happy and reading. Content that they inspired many who will remember them for years to come.